Day 59 Update: I need help!

Life simply gets in the way and I feel so stressed and discouraged. One minute I make up my mind to lose weight and in the next minute I am going weeks in a terrible rut, both exercise and food. What do I do? I wish I will have a more strong will and resolute to do this. I need to lose weight and I have seen myself lose weight before why can't I do this again. If I want to analyze this year 2014, I had come as low as 76kg this year. What was I doing right then? What am I doing wrong now at 81kg? Is it possible to lose 20kg and keep my weight between 60 and 65kg?

I don't want to be pushed to do this, I mean I don't want anything negative to push me to lose weight now that I am doing it for me.

I remember a song that says "you can get it if you really want, but you must try and try".

Do I really want to lose weight? Am I desperate about it?

What do I do now???